As I have posted about before I work in the mental health field. I
recently had a situation that kind of ticked me off, ticked is putting
it lightly. I like my current job but I work 4-12 and it's kind of
tough. I miss out on a lot of activities, friends and other stuff I like
to do like acting and watching hockey. So I have been looking for a
more normal schedule, 9-5ish. So through some contacts I sent my resume
and cover letter to large corporation that is in the city I live. I live
in Pittsburgh ( pmuc) rearrange those letters around and you will get
it. So I sent my cover letter and resume in and heard back from these
people. Well, not directly but through a contact. They said I had a few
typos on my resume...alright and that they were turned off by my cover
letter. My cover letter is very personal and talks about why I want to
be in the mental health field, about my mom and dad and all that. Turned
off?? What?? Over the last year or so I have been on about 15
interviews and mostly everyone said, wow this is what we are looking
for, you have passion and glad you turned this into something.
Now why would people that work with the mentally ill be turned off my someone that lived with a mentally ill parent their entire life?? Seems weird doesn't it? Seems pretty stupid actually. Who would know better than someone that pretty much lived in a psych ward for over 20 years?? I thought we were on the same side here? Trying to help the mentally ill, make a difference? I didn't get in this field for fun. I got in this field because my family was destroyed because no one could be bothered to ask a question, hey how is your dad, what about you Mike? How are you? I got in this field to make a difference, to change things. Hopefully.
A few of my goals after my mom died were to tell my story, hopefully to inspire others like my mom inspired me.I think I have done that. Dozens of people have told me their own personal struggles or their families struggles. I wanted to make it a safe environment for others to be truthful and maybe get help. Something that I never had or my parents had.The second thing I wanted to do is work with the mentally ill directly which I do. Lastly, was to give money and raise awareness to mental health and stigma that goes along with it, which I have.
How is anything ever going to get any better if people refuse to tell their stories and personal journey? What about gay activism and AIDS or cancer, did they stay silent? Let me ask another question? Why? Why is someone working in the field if they are turned off by someone that dealt with it everyday? Stigma in our own field? What is this? Now of course I didn't hear this directly so I could be wrong but maybe I'm not.
I'm tired of this, I'm tired of playing nice. Tired of pretending like everything is ok. When the system clearly doesn't do enough to help these people. I wasn't raised in a Norman Rockwell painting and I'm not pretending that I was and I don't think I should either.All humans have things that make us different. Some of us are born sick or get sick or have problems and there is nothing wrong with that. I'm being honest, isn't that what parents tell us, always be honest? Something is wrong with this picture and I don't like it.
Mike
Now why would people that work with the mentally ill be turned off my someone that lived with a mentally ill parent their entire life?? Seems weird doesn't it? Seems pretty stupid actually. Who would know better than someone that pretty much lived in a psych ward for over 20 years?? I thought we were on the same side here? Trying to help the mentally ill, make a difference? I didn't get in this field for fun. I got in this field because my family was destroyed because no one could be bothered to ask a question, hey how is your dad, what about you Mike? How are you? I got in this field to make a difference, to change things. Hopefully.
A few of my goals after my mom died were to tell my story, hopefully to inspire others like my mom inspired me.I think I have done that. Dozens of people have told me their own personal struggles or their families struggles. I wanted to make it a safe environment for others to be truthful and maybe get help. Something that I never had or my parents had.The second thing I wanted to do is work with the mentally ill directly which I do. Lastly, was to give money and raise awareness to mental health and stigma that goes along with it, which I have.
How is anything ever going to get any better if people refuse to tell their stories and personal journey? What about gay activism and AIDS or cancer, did they stay silent? Let me ask another question? Why? Why is someone working in the field if they are turned off by someone that dealt with it everyday? Stigma in our own field? What is this? Now of course I didn't hear this directly so I could be wrong but maybe I'm not.
I'm tired of this, I'm tired of playing nice. Tired of pretending like everything is ok. When the system clearly doesn't do enough to help these people. I wasn't raised in a Norman Rockwell painting and I'm not pretending that I was and I don't think I should either.All humans have things that make us different. Some of us are born sick or get sick or have problems and there is nothing wrong with that. I'm being honest, isn't that what parents tell us, always be honest? Something is wrong with this picture and I don't like it.
Mike
Mike
ReplyDeleteHuge problem and to be honest I was not a person who carried a stigma but then was not in support either,sort of on the fence. Reason, non awareness. Not until a few people walked into my life who parents were mentally ill opened my eyes to the lives. You hear a lot of the mentally ill or the medical side of it but not the other lives involved. Let alone they do love these people of course the do. Due to this I really felt there was something needed for the kids. There is nothing for them but medical books.. what a no no ... Yes it has gotten better than in the 1960's 70's etc.. treatment, opening, understanding more and information due to things such as computers. But many children do not get the support or the emotional needs, many times the adult does not realize what they need. I have started a book just for the kids on this subject it is for their age level. Coping skills or where to find help. I hope it will be in print by May. thank you for sharing!!! Sharing is the beginning of a difference. Part 2 of my project is an awareness youtube. Hope done by June. Vickie
Mike,
ReplyDeleteI loved your post!! I also work in the field of mental health...yes, there is stigma and it is so discouraging. I grew up with a mother who is mentally ill and I'm very protective of that informationn at work. I never want anybody to discredit my ideas because they think that I'm too personally involved... Feels like I'm being dishonest and maybe less effective than I should be because I'm not sharing that information. I still worry about how people will react. ---- What does it say about the field if we can't be honest about our experiences? Or have our experience valued??? You are so right that you have so much knowledge and insight and it should be recognized and valued!!!
Sometimes I wonder why other people go into the field if they are walking around with that stigma...?? Is it perverse interest? Or genuinely wanting to help?
Thanks for sharing! Encourages me to want to share more but it still scares me...
Joanne
Thank you for sharing. I have a mother with mental illness. This is going to be a long fight for awareness and respect of children of mentally ill parents who want to make things better. I was on my third interview with county casework. I told them the reason I want to help in social work is because I want to make lives of those around me better and especially my parent with mental illness. When they asked who my mother is, then the interview was over. I did not get that job because of who my mother is. How wrong is that!
ReplyDeleteMy mom did cause problems in that town for years, but thats part of mental illness. She does not live there anymore or receive services. I'm glad she stays on her program without their help. I look after her with one other sister's help. I only worry what might happen if she goes off her medication again.