The holidays can be a stressful time for anymore but when mental
illness is involved it's always a bit tougher. I have always just kind
of wanted them to be OVER. Let's get it done and move on. Not that I
don't like Christmas but it's anything but relaxing and it has always
been that way. Schizophrenia doesn't make good dinner conversation. My
mom loved the holidays and always had our house decorated very nice, but
having people over always made me super anxious and I'm still the same way I don't really like having people I don't feel understand me in my apartment and my dad doesn't even live with my anymore. The anxiety really isn't for me
because I was used to my dad's behavior but for everyone else in the
family. They had no idea how to deal with my dad or what he was like in
our home. I was worried how others would react to his outbursts or him
talking to himself, you would think this wouldn't make me so anxious
since these people were family but to me they seemed liked strangers. I
just wanted to say, "can you all just leave my house so I can relax and
be at peace." I think my mom even felt the same way, not that she was
embarrassed of my dad or anything but just didn't feel real comfortable
having others seeing my dad in an unstable state.
Not that my family had the cops called or my dad was causing fist fights or anything like that, more like something is a little off here and no one is saying anything. One of the things about my dad's schizophrenia is that his cognitive abilities are impaired i.e. he gets things confused a lot, dates are off and asks the same question over and over again. He thinks I lived in New york city for a year, that never happened, I visited new york for an audition( it was about 3 days long). So he is prone to talking about the past, well the past he thinks happened. That can make conversations awkward and confusing for people that don't understand mental illness. The other factor that make the holidays tough is people ask a lot of questions, for someone with schizophrenia that's not really good. It's hard for the unwell brain to process all this information coming at them at once, that can make things unclear and threatening even if it's not supposed to be. Can we also not talk about controversial topics( not politics, no religion, no money)? My dad is obsessed is talking about money, I have noticed this with other mentally ill people, they seem to always be worried about income which is understandable since they really don't have any. I almost guarantee my dad will ask what happened with my moms insurance money, he asks me this almost every time I talk to him. I say, "dad your brother is taking care of it" "everything is fine." I hate talking about money, I just want to eat my ham and go home..so that brings me to this year.
I'm having my dad stay with my this year, One day over Christmas eve to Christmas day. We will see how this works out and if it can be done ever again. I live in an urban area, somewhere my dad has never lived. He chain smokes and has a broken back so it's tough for him to get around sometimes. I'm really hoping he doesn't smoke in my house or pee in my bed. that would not be good, haha. I'm hoping he doesn't yell at anybody and we can just eat our ham and go home, in peace, well as peaceful as we can be.
Mike McCarthy
Not that my family had the cops called or my dad was causing fist fights or anything like that, more like something is a little off here and no one is saying anything. One of the things about my dad's schizophrenia is that his cognitive abilities are impaired i.e. he gets things confused a lot, dates are off and asks the same question over and over again. He thinks I lived in New york city for a year, that never happened, I visited new york for an audition( it was about 3 days long). So he is prone to talking about the past, well the past he thinks happened. That can make conversations awkward and confusing for people that don't understand mental illness. The other factor that make the holidays tough is people ask a lot of questions, for someone with schizophrenia that's not really good. It's hard for the unwell brain to process all this information coming at them at once, that can make things unclear and threatening even if it's not supposed to be. Can we also not talk about controversial topics( not politics, no religion, no money)? My dad is obsessed is talking about money, I have noticed this with other mentally ill people, they seem to always be worried about income which is understandable since they really don't have any. I almost guarantee my dad will ask what happened with my moms insurance money, he asks me this almost every time I talk to him. I say, "dad your brother is taking care of it" "everything is fine." I hate talking about money, I just want to eat my ham and go home..so that brings me to this year.
I'm having my dad stay with my this year, One day over Christmas eve to Christmas day. We will see how this works out and if it can be done ever again. I live in an urban area, somewhere my dad has never lived. He chain smokes and has a broken back so it's tough for him to get around sometimes. I'm really hoping he doesn't smoke in my house or pee in my bed. that would not be good, haha. I'm hoping he doesn't yell at anybody and we can just eat our ham and go home, in peace, well as peaceful as we can be.
Mike McCarthy
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